This truly isn’t an article I thought I would ever be able to write, but here I am about to share the last few months of my axial spondyloarthritis journey, and what that looks like for me.
Firstly I would like to share that this is not a decision that was made easily, I had months of thought that went into this decision. If any of you follow me on my Instagram (@house_of_spoons) you know the last 2 years have been completely consumed with my chronic illness and my attempts to find a medication that would give me some relief from my symptoms. Biologic after biologic failed and upon my 4th biologic in 1.5 years, I felt like there had to be something more then just my body's failing attempt to feel better.
Biologics weren't giving me long-term relief
Every biologic would give me a few good weeks of relief before it began to break me out in hives, or give me stomach pains, or cause fatigue. I started to wonder if the dose wasn't enough, and then the cycle would continue, and worsen.
Self discovery and growth
Being chronically ill has lead me to a lot of self discovery. I have learned who my friends are and who will be there for me when I’m at my worst. Those who are willing to see all of me even the sick and boring parts.
Working through past traumas
I have also been working on healing past trauma, and it's the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I've had the realization that I grew up in a very toxic home environment and it was a big shift for my adult mindset. We often don’t know we’re in trauma when we’re in trauma. Making changes to my life has made me feel so empowered, and in turn has helped my AxSpa!
Relief and gratitude
My last biologic injection was 7 weeks ago today and while fatigue and pain are present, it’s nothing life it use to be and for that I’m so incredibly thankful. I can’t say I will never return to biologics, because I know there are a lot of ways life can be unpredictable, but right now I’m learning how my body works and what is right for me, and right now that’s using mindfulness and alternative healing. The power of empowerment is priceless!
Have you ever stopped or taken a break from biologics? What was your experience like?
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