The 5 Blessings of My Disease
The first blessing is the community. This disease can definitely make you feel lonely, crazy, and misunderstood. But finding a community, a group related to your disease, becomes the place to come that will never make you feel any of those things. I have met some wonderful people on this website, on Facebook and on Instagram. With these friends, you can relate to each other. You can learn all about your disease, that your doctor won’t know about or understand. The chronic community is so large. Best of all, it's a safe place to talk about anything and make a friends.
With chronic pain, you never know what to expect. One minute you can feel fine and the next second the pain can take over and bring out all your weaknesses. It can be mentally and physically draining. Exhausting is not even enough to describe it. Let’s not talk about the various visits it takes from doctor to doctor. All the different medications we try, with the unknown trials and errors that come along with it.
But to go through all that you need strength. You need someone strong. That’s definitely me and damn I'm proud of it! I am proud of myself for it. You should be proud of all the strength it takes to fight the pain, every day. Not to mention the debilitating symptoms that come along the way, every day, every second, every minute. If only they knew what it takes to be a warrior, a fighter.
The hardest thing I had to do was come to terms with the knowledge that this disease is here to stay and it is not going anywhere. I thought once receiving a diagnosis, I would take a magic pill and everything would be better. I wish it was that simple. I honestly wish for all of us. Total opposite! I had to learn and still learning to accept this disease, all of it. It’s here to stay with me and all I can continue from here on is making every day count. I have chosen for a better quality of life to make the best of it. I have chosen to find new ways to make my dreams and goals come true. I won’t let this disease define me or my worth.
As you go through life, you learn that patience and understanding are the keys to go through all the lessons in life, especially being chronically ill. It is a rare quality that needs a lot of practice. Once you master it, you can achieve so much. AxSpa has taught me it’s a trait, I need to have part of me and to work harder on to get through my flares, my bad days, and my surroundings. Patience and understanding is what’s needed, when my body is at war with my immune system.
5. True meaning of family/friendships
A lot of disappointment comes along with this subject. I lost count, how many times I have cried because even the people you love around you can make you feel invalidated. They can make you feel worse than the disease itself. We don’t need pity. We want support and understanding. Canceling last minute, not knowing if I will be able to show up to an outing or an event, trust me we want more than anything to be there. But our illness is not our fault.
We don’t have control over how we feel. Once again, one minute you can be fine (manageable) and the next you are in tears from pains, feel like you are losing control of your thoughts and your body. I am thankful for the ones that still check up, even by a text message or a phone call. The smallest gesture can make a difference in someone’s day. Thank you to the ones that will still invite even if I have canceled many times at the last minute. Thank you to the ones that haven’t given up on me.
Can you tell when a flare is coming?