A woman's head floats away amongst clouds of brain fog.

How My Brain Fog Has Changed Over Time

I’ve now had AS for 5 years. I’ve also had accompanying brain fog for those 5 years. Although I’ve had it the whole time, it’s recently changed. I wanted to write about it to see if other people’s brain fog has also changed over time as mine has.

What is brain fog?

Brain fog isn’t a medical term. It’s just a way to explain what feels like you’re going crazy. Some of the symptoms of brain fog are memory loss, confusion, saying the wrong thing, and inability to focus.

I remember when I first started experiencing brain fog, I felt like I was experiencing dementia. I had always had such a good memory, so it was not like me to experience it at all.

What it was like at the start

I would occasionally forget what I was saying, or forget why I walked into a room. But the more I experienced life with AS, the more symptoms started to pop up.

I would be talking to a friend and randomly say a word that didn’t belong in the sentence. Or I would sort of “blackout” and say something - but have no memory of saying it.

It was incredibly frustrating. I was 22 at the time, and feeling like I was losing my mind wasn’t very reassuring. Losing a lot of my memory was hard to cope with. I would forget things constantly.

What it’s been like lately

Within the past year or so, my brain fog has gotten worse. It’s incredibly hard for me to concentrate on just about anything. My focusing abilities are gone.

I can barely read a few pages of a book at a time. It feels impossible to focus for that long. Writing has become more difficult, too.

It’s hard to focus on conversations as well. I feel like such a bad person for this. I’ll be trying to have a conversation with my mom or a friend, and I just lose focus and it’s suddenly like I can’t hear what they’re saying anymore. If I try to remember the past 15 seconds of conversation, it’s completely wiped from my memory.

Speaking of my memory, that’s gotten worse, too. Over my 5 years of having AS, it's just deteriorated.

I feel like I have to write things down to remember them or put them into my phone. I forget so many things, I’ll even forget things I did with a friend 6 months ago. It’s a sad feeling.

How does this affect me?

Mentally, this is awful for me. I feel like I used to be so smart, and now I can barely read a book. I know this isn’t on me, but some days it feels really bad.

I feel like a bad friend for forgetting things so often and being unable to focus on long conversations. The worst thing is, there’s nothing that helps brain fog - at least that I’ve found.

I’m a little worried for my future, seeing as I’m only 26 and experiencing all of these symptoms.

Do you experience brain fog? Please share your experiences!

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