COVID-19 Is In My House

I don’t know where to begin with this. I felt so anxious and panicky. I felt like I was not in control of my emotions. For the past two years, I’ve feared Covid. To be honest, I've feared any illness.

Over the past two years, I have isolated myself away from my friends and boyfriend when I felt unsafe. I’ve decided to not attend events when I’ve felt unsafe. It’s always been a big worry of mine, but I didn’t think I would feel like this. I felt like I was not in control of my emotions, at least for the first day. I felt so so stressed, I cried a lot. I felt overwhelmed and anxious. To be honest, I think I had or was close to having a panic attack because I have never felt that panicky before.

Stress is not good for your body

That night, my spasms were the worst that they have been in months. I couldn’t move my neck at all. I could barely move my arms. I always knew that stress was bad for my body, especially my muscle spasms. This really showed me why I need to control my stress levels.

There are six people living in my house, including me. Four now have Covid. Luckily, myself and brother Ken have avoided it so far (touches wood).

My stepbrother’s girlfriend was first to test positive, then my stepbrother, then my mam, all on the same day. My stepdad is still testing negative but he’s isolating with my mam, so we are presuming he has it too. They are all isolated in their rooms since they have tested positive. They are not allowed to come outside of their room, if they need or want anything we will get it for them and leave it outside the door.

As soon as we found out Ken sanitized the whole house, the banister on the stairs, all the door handles, everything! Ken and I are testing every day. Today is day 5 and luckily, we are still negative. We have been so careful to make sure that it doesn’t spread to me. Even though I have felt so anxious and stressed in my home, I am happy that this has happened now and not a year or two ago when the variant was much worse.

How will I react if I get Covid?

I don’t know how my body will react to getting Covid. I might be fine! I’ve had three vaccines, I should be getting my fourth soon. But it is a huge worry of mine. Getting sick at all is a huge worry of mine.

Covid is now in my house and there's nothing I can do to stop this, it’s already here. I need to stop stressing and I need to take control of what can be controlled. I can ensure that my family members who have Covid continue to isolate themselves in their rooms. I can wear a mask and sanitize everything.

And I can have hope. Hope that I do not get Covid.

If I do, then I will just have to go with the flow and hope that I will be ok.

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