Living My Best AS Life!

By Nadine Cruz

2 min read

When I was first diagnosed in 2018, I thought my life was over. I had already lost my job, and I lost my apartment, and I lost friends. I lost so much that I just didn't care about life anymore.

A deep depression

I went into a really deep depression that all I did was nap all day every day until one day my mom came into my room. She said to me: "What are you going to do, nap all year? You need to get up and fight this disease." It was at that very moment that I knew that I had to make a change and not let this disease defeat me.

Finding and creating support

I knew that I had to be strong for my kids. I did researching, trying to find support groups but didn't find any that were the right fit for me. So, I decided to start my own. I started my support group on Instagram in 2019. I started with only 4 people, and today, I have 16 members. While it is a small group, it is a group of truly amazing, uplifting, supportive individuals who are not only battling AS but other chronic conditions as well.

I wanted to create a support group and open it up to anyone battling mental or chronic illness, because I was suffering with both, and having people that understood what I was facing meant the world to me.

Learning about myself, and managing my chronic illnesses better

I learned so much about myself. I knew that I could do this with a few lifestyle changes and the right people in my corner. I knew that my life really wasn't over, and I started living again. I started finding ways that I could still do the things that I loved to do. I just had to do them a little differently.

At the same time, I started helping others do the same, and it was so rewarding helping other people when just a year ago I was so depressed that I gave up. I'm now a content creator, an awareness t-shirt designer, and a support group leader. I turned my pain into power. I met an amazing community, I gained a best friend, and I started a small business.

Losing, and gaining at the same time

So although I lost so much, I gained something that I would have never imagined I could gain in my life. Do I still have bad days? Absolutely. Do I still struggle with my mental health? Absolutely. But I have found ways to cope and keep my mind busy from the reality of this disease, and I choose to swim instead of drowning.

Share how you try to keep your head above water in the comments below.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The AxialSpondyloarthritis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Lisa Marie Basile Moderator & Contributor
There is nothing like hearing someone's positive story about this disease. While the dark days and the hard times are 100% valid and must be discussed, the joy and resilience is so important, too. It sounds like you saw the darkness and came back from it in spades. So happy for you. 
1. Nadine Cruz Member
 <inline-mention username="Lisa Marie Basile" user-id="2108259"/> Thank you Lisa its def been a challenge getting to this point and i still have days that I struggle but I try to block it out as much as I can so I can still enjoy life and do the things that i love to do. Do I pay for it absolutely, but some things are worth it right? we still are human beings that want to enjoy life too we just have to enjoy it differently. I take my days to rest and recharge but i always get back up and keep going even through the pain. This disease is tough but I'm from the Bronx it's not tougher than me well sometimes it is, but I kick it where it hurts lol! Hope your doing well! Nadine (Community Member)
Nadine Cruz Member
Hi James Hope all is well, Awww thanks James i just don't like people to feel alone i have a great support team but i know many that do not. And I will def let you know my group is a little shy when it comes to video chats so i have to convince them lol! All My best Nadine (Community Member)
Anna Samson Moderator & Contributor
Such an inspiring read! While the disease is difficult to deal with on its own, I struggle most with how it affects my mental health. It's nice to read about other people who have had similar experiences and how they deal with them.
1. Nadine Cruz Member
 <inline-mention username="Anna Samson" user-id="4164139"/> Thanks Anna hope you're doing well today? Its def nice to have others that know and understand the struggle of not only battling a chronic illness but also mental illness it can be very overwhelming at times. I just try to focus on the good more than the bad and that's what keeps me sane! Wishing you all the best Nadine (Community Member)
Julie Vallortigara Moderator & Contributor
Hi <inline-mention username="Nadine Cruz" user-id="4610325"/> Wow, that's so inspiring to read you! What a great series of achievements it's been for you!! That's amazing, for you, for your family, for people around you and for those you talk to in your support group and elsewhere like here 😉 I like your approach about supporting each other no matter which condition. I remember attending some self management programs where people would come with various conditions, and by listening to people's stories I realise that we all share quite a fair bit in terms of challenges and needs, and also aspirations for a better life. I hope you are keeping well these days. Take care, Julie.
1. Nadine Cruz Member
 <inline-mention username="Julie Vallortigara" user-id="2107984"/> Hey julie Hope all is well! Awww thank you so much for your kind words I truly appreciate it! And yes we all share so many Similar experiences so we can all relate to each other in some way.
James Hollens Moderator & Contributor
Hi <inline-mention username="Nadine Cruz" user-id="4610325"/> , I'm really sorry to hear how down you were at the start of your journey with AS. But I think it is absolutely amazing that you were not only to find ways of switching things up so positively and helping others do the same in the process! It's so inspirational hearing things like this! What kind of things do you do with your support group? Wishing you all the best, James (Community Member)
1. Nadine Cruz Member
 <inline-mention username="James Hollens" user-id="2107776"/> Hey James! Hope your doing well my friend! Awwww Thank you so much I appreciate that! It’s kind of the same thing I’m doing here lending support to others and sharing our everyday experiences. We cry when we need to we laugh a lot and we vent to each other when we’re having a bad day. I’m now trying to start zoom support meetings every Month so we can all get together virtually. we’re like a little family that doesn’t judge what you are going through. If you ever want to join just let me know we’ve been IG friends for a while now and I love your energy, I think they will love you too! Best wishes Nadine 
2. James Hollens Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Nadine Cruz" user-id="4610325"/> I think that is so wonderful that you do all of this, the world definitely needs more people like you in it! I would love to join you guys for one if you would have me! The time difference may make it a little hard, but my sleeping pattern is often quite questionable so it will probably work haha! Let me know when you next have one planned! Wishing you all the best, James (Community Member)

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