Another Day With Axial Spondyloarthritis

It is going on 2 months since returning back to work. I have good days and I have bad days. I love what I am doing. Then what is the problem? Why am I complaining? Because AxSpa still finds a way to take over and take the stage.

AxSpa still finds a way to take over and get into my head, into my life. It manages slowly to take over my mind, making it harder to concentrate. Which then makes concentration harder to focus on my work, which is very detailed and I need to be careful not to make any mistakes, as I am dealing with patient’s information and privacy.

The brain fog has been a big issue

Sometimes I can sit there for a few minutes, and not remember what I was doing. Last Friday, I felt like it was my first day of training. My mind was like a  blank page. My pain and chronic fatigue all together with other symptoms that come with AxSpa and fibromyalgia...it’s just a big rollercoaster. It is a big rollercoaster that feels never ending. I always feel like I need to keep catching up and I am left behind.

Then the pain and stiffness comes

By 11am I already can’t sit anymore. My legs are in pain. My low back and buttocks feel so numb. All my joints start to feel stiff, like the tin man. That’s when I know I need to get up and walk around the house. I start doing some light chores to get my body moving. Hope it will lessen up the stiffness and pains.

I start to clean up a little from the night before. Put the dishwasher on, put a load of clothes to wash and make the kids lunches...that way less to worry about when they come home, after school. Today it was a day like this. Most days I have to lay down in between doing my work often, because I have no energy at all to even stand or walk. It can make me feel crazy and unmotivated to keep going. But I am a warrior, I keep going and going. I don’t give up. That’s all I know on what to do, is just keep going.

Kids are home as I hear their voices through the door

Thankfully, they know to keep quiet and have a snack until I am done work. It’s 5pm and work is finally done. All I can think about is how I need to rest, as I have no energy, I am feeling very weak and tired with such a bad migraine. But there is still supper to make for the whole family and clean up. Let’s not forget homework.

I try to take another hot shower, hoping it will help me to keep going. But today, I was not able to do anything else. We ordered out, as the time was already 7pm. All I can think about is how I need to rest, so I can get up tomorrow and hopefully have a better day. Take my medications once again and I lay in bed finally. I start to think about how I made it through another day and it finally over.