alt=a person experiencing stressed emotions with his head in his hands, as a vase of dead flowers wilts to their right.

Emotions Are a Part of Having AxSpa

Having AxSpa is no fun at all. I don’t wish it on anyone. It can make you feel so many emotions. It can make you feel emotions you wish you never had. It can change from one minute to the next. I can be feeling fine, and the next minute be exhausted with no energy, and in so much pain. I can have a smile on my face and all of a sudden, AxSpa can just take it away.

So much chronic pain

Feeling chronic pain on a daily basis without some kind of break can turn you so angry. It can make me feel so angry. It can be hard to control those emotions that race through me. Sometimes it can be so hard to see what is wrong with me because I am feeling so many things at the same time when my body is going through this pain and exhaustion, or when I am trying to deal with chronic migraines on the daily. Or when the brain fog and the inability to concentrate hits. Not being able to do the most simplest tasks. It can hit you like a really bad storm.

It's hard on me, and those around me

I have said this before. Living with the chronic illness...it can be very hard for me. It is very hard. But it does also affect everyone around me. Seeing me be in pain. Seeing me have all these different emotions. It affects all those that are around me.

As much as I try my best not to lash out at my friends and family, it can be very hard not to. It can get hard seeing them not feel what you are feeling. It can get hard having to re-explain that you can’t do this anymore. It can get tiring and feel a lot of the times like you are alone. Like I have said before in my previous articles, it is hard to know or feel what you are going through with any disease if someone hasn’t been through it themselves.

I'm trying to learn and find ways to cope

Even though it is hard to control sometimes how I am feeling, I am still learning to find tricks to help with it. I try to add some self care days, giving my body some self love and doing what I love. I try to do things that will bring my mood up when I am feeling down. When I am feeling down, music helps me get through. I have a play list that I have at the ready. When I am feeling stressed, exhausted and in pain, I know I have to try and rest as much as possible. On these days, I try not do any house work like cleaning or cooking.

Everyone is different on what helps them get through those waves of emotions. You have to take one day at a time. I sometimes even take one minute at a time. I have learned you have to let yourself sometimes feel all the emotions. The good, the bad, the sad, the angry, whatever it is. It's what will bring on the better days. Because no matter what, there will be better days. You just have to keep reminding yourself that.

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