Having Independence as a Disabled Person

By Steff Di Pardo

2 min read

In 2021, I started identifying as disabled. My chronic fatigue took over my life in late 2020, and a few months later, in early 2021, I decided to start using a rollator walker.

The decision wasn’t easy

There’s definitely a stigma for young people using mobility aids. I absolutely don’t agree with it, but I think we all have some form of internalized ableism inside of us, and I am no exception.

An initial thought of someone getting a mobility aid is they lose their independence. I’ll talk about this more later on in this article because it absolutely isn’t true.

I also was worried about what others would think of me. When I went out in public, would people stare? Would they approach me and ask what happened? I had a lot of worries surrounding my big decision.

It took me a while to get used to it

I finally bit the bullet and ordered a basic rollator walker from Amazon. It was decent. It was black, and I knew almost right away that I wanted to customize it to make it my own. I went out and bought pink spray paint, pearls, and glitter. I knew if I DIY’d it, it would make me more comfortable to use.

At first, I only used my rollator inside the house. I would take it from my room to the bathroom and back when I needed it, and that was about it. I slowly started to take it outside but realized the walker I purchased wasn’t really fit for the outdoors.

I decided to look on Kijiji and found one that was more suitable for what I needed, so I bought that and spray painted it pink as well!

Finding my independence

Like I mentioned earlier, people often think that using a mobility aid is losing your independence. It’s actually the complete opposite. If I didn’t have my rollator walker, I wouldn’t be able to leave my house as often as I do, or do some of the things I like to do.

For instance, going to the mall wouldn’t really be an option for me. Going for walks around the block wouldn’t be, either. I’m able to do so much more because I got a walker.

I also wouldn’t usually leave the house on my own without a walker, just in case something happened to me. My fatigue would always get worse and I would need to sit down somewhere, which oftentimes ended up being the floor of whatever store I was in.

Now, I can just park my walker somewhere and sit there until I feel well enough to keep going. It’s so handy!

My solo trips

I still don’t take a lot of solo trips, but when I’m having a particularly good day, I do. I take my walker, hop on the bus and I’m on my way to the mall or to an appointment.

Sometimes I'll get approached, or a look up and down, but you honestly get used to it. I find that people ask questions and make comments like “you’re so young!” or “why do you need that?”, but I usually give them short answers and they leave me alone. As for the looks, you learn to just ignore them.

My walker has changed my life

My walker has made life so much easier for me. My chronic fatigue is still pretty bad, but I know if I didn’t have my walker on these trips, it would be a lot worse.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The AxialSpondyloarthritis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Lisa Marie Basile Moderator & Contributor
Claiming the word disability is extremely difficult for me - and I applaud your sharing this story and your experience embracing and exploring what that means for you. But I do identify as disabled, at least dynamically, because I have so many good days and so many bad ones. Thanks for this POV. And for sharing about your assistive devices.
Lisa Marie Basile Moderator & Contributor
Thank you for this article, Stephanie. I do have to be honest: There is a stigma attached to using mobility and assistive devices, especially in the youth community. It’s unfair, it’s unrealistic, and it reduces how terrible this or any disease can be. But I also must confess that that Ableism is deep within me. I feel like if I start using an assistive device, I will be in someway giving the disease power. Of course I know that this is completely false. There are some days when I could definitely use help when I’m walking, because I do what you do. I end up sitting on the floor or a bench or anywhere. That pain and fatigue is completely obliterating. Maybe it’s about time is my hands on my own. Thank you!
RroseappleHopes Member
Hi <inline-mention username="Steff Di Pardo" user-id="2397373"/> Thank you for sharing this, and good for you to find a way to "come out". Just this weekend I was watching a program and there was a segment wherein a speaker introduced the program he represented which "Is not a dance class for disabled people, but a dance class for people with disabilities". I loved that! I'm still only using my rollator in my home, not so much because of the stigma, but, I have not yet determined if the pain and effort of breaking it down and putting it in the car is worth the benefit of having it with me when I go out. I'm not strong enough to do malls or long walks any more, with or without the walker and If I have a big outing, like to the fair with my family, one of them usually deals with the wheelchair or I get a scooter. But I am quickly approaching that time when I will need the support for shorter runs, like to doctor visits. Its very encouraging to read about your progress and the various factors you've overcome.
James Hollens Moderator & Contributor
Hi <inline-mention username="Steff Di Pardo" user-id="2397373"/> , I love to hear that you found your independence with the use of your walking aid! It was pretty nerve wracking when I started using my walking stick in public and sometimes I would opt to leave it at home even when I knew I needed it as I was conscious of how others may react. It is definitely something that needs normalising in society so thank you so much for speaking on this subject and showing us all that there is nothing wrong with using walking aids and in fact it is as liberating as it is helpful! Hope you are keeping well, James (Community Member)
Lawrence Rick Phillips Moderator & Contributor
 it is like the first time I had to ride around the grocery store on one of those motorized shopping carts. I was so embarrassed. But Sheryl actually made it OK. I think if anyone looked at me crossways she gave them the evil eye and that was that. I have received that evil gaze before and I know it scares me. I can only imagine getting it from somebody I did not know. I know that would scare me. Well after a few times of going with her to the grocery store using one, I got used to it and the other people knew who my protector was. That tended to reduce the stares. Hey, Sheryl is tough.

Community Poll

What topics are you interested in learning more about?