Managing Holiday Gatherings With AxSpa

I left France 15 years ago and I have lived in the UK ever since, but I visit for the holidays. Those who left their hometown know what it means to go back to the old home for a break. It’s hard to keep it as a real holiday with rest and free time, as everyone wants to see you and treat you, and it’s difficult to say no. I have had plenty of busy stays in France, I even dared to go back for weekends at the beginning and after few very packed weekends in Bordeaux I decided not to do that to myself again.

Learning to say "no"

The fact is I was trying to please everyone and make the most of my time back there, and I was forgetting my own wellbeing and wishes for that holiday. When I got diagnosed with AxSpa, I started to make changes to look after myself better when going to France to see family and friends.

At first, I was braving the busy schedule and wanted to show up as I used to. But in the end, it did not work for me. I would find myself having to take painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs when being on holiday to keep up with the rhythm of everyone around me. I wanted to fit in and join in, at my own cost. I would come back tired and not in a good shape, with the feeling that my holiday was not "healthy" and not adapted to my needs.

It took me some time to process things around my diagnosis

I had to think about the way I was living with AxSpa not only on daily basis, but also when traveling and going abroad, and particularly going back to France. I realized I could not keep up with everyone’s pace, I had to make choices for my health and wellbeing whilst being there and serving myself first by saying no, pacing myself and spreading the gatherings.

With some practice I got better at saying no, at saying to people what I needed to do and not to do in order to function and be happy on holiday. I guess for people who don’t see me every day it took them some time to understand my needs and new life circumstances.

I've learned to become practical

I plan when I gather with people and when I rest, and I note it on my diary. I usually save at least one day a week with no commitment to anyone, including very close people. This is my day off, my ME time during the holiday when I live moment by moment and I do exactly what I want and what I need to feel well and rested. This time is a blessing and I tend to plan that quite close to my arrival as traveling is tiring.

Then for the rest of the holiday, I limit one gathering per day maximum and I avoid too many big meals in a short period of time. The fact is eating a lot, drinking alcohol, speaking to many people and being in a noisy environment is exhausting for me. Therefore, I can do a bit of it but with moderation so I can also chill, read, nap, doing some gentle exercise, and simply enjoy the freedom of being off duty.

I had a good holiday this time, I enjoyed the company of family and friends, I played, I rested, I moved, I stayed still. I felt I had some space and time for myself and was able to be there to see people too. I did not need extra medication or specific self-care apart from my usually routine. I was happy and fulfilled after my break, and proud of myself for managing it that way. On my way back, I had four more days off to enjoy by myself with my dog and that was also a blessing!

Do you have plans on how you'll manage upcoming holiday celebrations?