Learning To Pace Myself Has Changed My Life

By Julie Vallortigara

3 min read

Pacing is probably the most useful thing I have learned on my journey to live better with AxSpa, and with fibromyalgia too. I did not know anything about pacing before, because I did not have to use such skill! When I started to be ill, my stamina disappeared. I would waste my precious energy and burnt myself out doing things I used to do without planning. I would start things and would find myself not able to finish them on the same day. Then, it became clear that having a strategy to build up my stamina again, step-by-step, with control and patience, was a priority to enjoy life again aside of work and other duties.

Learning about pacing

I think I have learned a fair deal about pacing by attending self-management programs for people with chronic diseases. It seems to be useful across the broad for the management of many conditions. It is a valuable self-help tool for people to go back on track and get to do things within their comfort zone.

Pacing basically gave me back control over my life, a way to plan and decide what I can do each day with confidence and with a feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. It has made a huge difference for me to be able to do that. Slowly and steadily, I have been able to reach a good level of energy again so I could work, have hobbies, have a social life, and plan trips and holidays. Now I do it without realizing, pacing has become a new lifestyle habit for a better life!

My work as a Life Coach

Nowadays, the beauty of it is I get to share my experience about pacing with my work as a Life Coach! I work part-time for an organization called Thistle Foundation. I am a Health and Wellbeing Practitioner for their Wellbeing team.

We Practitioners provide coaching and support over the phone, online and in person, to help people develop strategies to cope with their situation and find their own path to recovery. I offer 1-2-1 appointments to patients who are referred to me by doctors, nurses, and other healthcare professionals. People can explore with me ways to improve the quality of their life according to their terms and their hopes for the future.

I also run self-management group sessions as part of my job

One topic we regularly discuss with people using our service is pacing. We have a whole chapter on it in our lifestyle management course. It has been fascinating to provide support and advice about pacing to people in need. With fatigue, for example, I have learnt not to attempt to power through as this can make symptoms worse and increase feelings of frustration and loss of control.

However, I have noticed that complete rest and doing nothing is also not particularly helpful. So, sticking to low-level activities, resting both my mind and body, and pacing my activity is key to allowing my body to recover.

This strategy can be challenging though, particularly if you are the kind of person who likes to get things done. This is where coaching can be really helpful: getting a bit of support to make the decisions that are right for you and help to manage the frustration that often accompanies a slow approach to recovery. I have certainly experienced that, patience was key, in order to get better at pacing myself and gradually doing a little bit more. That time and effort was worth the investment. It has changed my life and I hope it can be the case for many more people.

Some interesting reading about pacing:

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Nadine Cruz Member
Hi Julie Hope your doing well today! I can def relate to this topic i myself have found it difficult to pace myself because i was always such an active person i had to learn how to adjust and pace myself throughout the day because i still have such a busy schedule im a mom of 3, i lead a support group, i make t-shirts i do physical therapy, so all of that is a full time job, and trying to manage my health and still enjoy life is a balance that is sometimes challenging i sometimes forget i have AS and i have to remind myself to slow down and take my time and take a self care day when i can it is so important we remember to take care of ourselves first so its easier to care for others, thank you for sharing loved reading your experience have a great day! Nadine (Team Member)
1. Julie Vallortigara Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Nadine Cruz" user-id="4610325"/> Hi, I am glad this is useful to you! And it looks like you are active person, with a full on life, and I can relate to that. I recently realised that I am really expressing myself in doing things rather than thinking / contemplating - I used to think that I am a thinker and therefore not doing much should satisfy me and suit my needs living with AxSpa. Whilst I like my quiet moments of reflection, I think I need to action things to feel happy and fulfil in life. It's quite a big insight for me actually and made me revise the way I see quiet and resting time. It's not doing nothing, that's pacing myself and improving my health and wellbeing. So I am doing something good and valuable by choosing to have a resting time. 😉 Take care, Julie.
2. Nadine Cruz Member
 <inline-mention username="Julie Vallortigara" user-id="2107984"/> Hi Julie Thank you! It's a balance that is hard to manage living with axspa. Some days I don't know how I do it all. I remember that I have to pace myself with everything that I do and try not to burn myself out. Stay well Nadine (Team Member)
James Hollens Moderator & Contributor
 Hi <inline-mention username="Julie Vallortigara" user-id="2107984"/> , Pacing yourself is such a crucial thing when living with AxSpa, and is something that I learned the hard (and painful) way! Finding the right balance can be tough and although I am much better than I was, I still think I have a long way to go in this department. I think it is amazing that you have found ways of coping better with this yourself and gone on to help others both in your line of work and by sharing articles like this with such helpful information! That is very interesting how you find it better to do low level activities rather than resting completely. I'm going to have to give this a go next time I find myself in this position! Thanks for an interesting read, James (Community Member)
Nicky Flikas Moderator
<inline-mention username="Julie Vallortigara" user-id="2107984"/> Loved this article and I think this can help so many of us with a chronic illness. I wish I knew about this in the beginning of my diagnosis. It took me a while to notice I could not continue the way I was doing everything. I was trying to do everything all at once with no break. I would try to use my body as it was normal, as it was able to do everything, instead of listening to it. It took seeing a occupational therapist to show me how I couldn't do things the same way, if I wanted to get some energy back and be able to get somethings done in the day. This is where she introduced me into learning how to pace myself. It has taken time for this to happen and I am still learning to find ways to pace myself even more. I think it is incredible on what you are doing and helping so many people on this topic. Glad you are sharing your experiences. Wishing you well, Nicky (Team Member)
1. Julie Vallortigara Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Nicky Flikas" user-id="2484107"/> Hi, Thanks for your comment. I hear you about the difficulty to pace yourself at the beginning, after the diagnosis. I did the same by trying to keep living my life like I used to, and I went through the cycle of boom and bust quite few times... It's great you could help yourself though, and with the help of the OT, to learn about pacing and living better with AS by managing your level of energy. I agree with you, it's very much an ongoing process, I keep learning also about pacing myself and adapting to new situations along the way. I think it's empowering to be able to do that, and gain some control over our schedule and life activities. That definitively gives me hopes about my future life, to keep plans and expectations realistic as well. Take care, Julie.
Anna Samson Moderator & Contributor
Pacing is so important! When I think back to before I was diagnosed, I realize that I had started to naturally try to use pacing strategies but hadn't figured out the best ways to go about it for myself. Given all I know now, pacing is my best friend, even when it it inconvenient for myself and others. Glad you are able to share your experiences and knowledge of pacing with others.
1. Julie Vallortigara Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Anna Samson" user-id="4164139"/> Hi, Thanks! Yes, I agree with you. Pacing is so important! That's amazing that you were doing it naturally already, before getting some more knowledge about how to pace yourself. I guess that is a skill to be able to listen to yourself, your needs and adapt your life as a result of what you have heard. It seems once we have discovered the power we can have by pacing ourselves, we can make it our own, and shape it so we live a better life 😀 I like the fact that you mentioned that sometimes it might not be convenient for us and others to pace ourselves. That's so true, this is an important thing to remember that pacing might not be the thing we want to do on the spot and yet we know we are helping ourselves by doing so. Thank you for sharing that! Take care, Julie.