Personal Contentment Is Not Accidental

In my opinion, nothing prepares us for living with arthritis or any other serious chronic illness or disability. We meet these experiences with the resources that we have and do our best. If we’re lucky, we find the right community and care along the way.

The physical, psycho-social, and economic stresses of arthritis have the tendency to skew life energy toward the immediate and urgent and away from age-appropriate personal growth, development, reflection, and innovation.

This sounds pretty bad

None of this is great, but getting things out in the open matters. After all, we can’t work on problems until they’re named.

Feed happiness

Gardeners know that good soil and proper care give plants the best chance to thrive. Vigilance for weeds, pests, and poor drainage is crucial. Wellness and happiness need the same careful attention.

Reclaim your time

Our time is a precious non-refundable resource best spent on ourselves and the things we want and need to do. There’s no time for drama or other people, places, and things that don’t add discernable value to our lives.

Takeaway: think carefully about how you spend your time.

Be selective

Self-care is having a moment in our society and economy. Hot takes, discourse, and nonsense are constantly circulating. Somehow, it’s much easier to find the opinions than the qualifications and motivations of the folks giving advice.

Takeaway: you can’t listen to everybody.

Mind your relationships

Arthritis has the same disruptive powers as other serious chronic illnesses or disabilities. Anything capable of stopping patients from walking dogs, showering, driving their kids to school, and meeting other basic needs also interrupts social function.

Some of the people around us do not know how to respond, and others don’t care to learn. All of this lays a heavy weight on patients and their relationships.

Make a plan

Consider a flexible schedule to facilitate contact with the most important people in your life and get help if your physical health or mood make it hard to participate in your own life.

Takeaway: relationships won’t maintain themselves.

Get a hobby all your own

Learning to knit came as a surprise, but it’s been a fun leap to take. I’m learning new things and knitter YouTube is filled with colorful characters. A dear friend low-key talked me into it in the summer of 2022. She might have a future in the diplomatic corps, or something.

Takeaway: Try something new and uncomfortable.

Flutter on by

I’m a butterfly gardener partially because our house has a pollinator garden, but mostly because I hand raise butterflies in the dining room. It makes no sense to buy a bunch of host plants to set around the yard in hopes that the right insect comes by to drop off her babies for me to bring them inside to foster.

Takeaway: whoever said beauty has to make sense?

Homework

• What 5 things make you feel your best or worst?
• Is there anything that you might do less of or become more intentional about the time you spend doing?