Eyes on the Prize: Setting Goals

I was diagnosed with non-radiographic axial spondyloarthritis in May 2019 after many years of chronic pain. I’m the type of person who loves to make “to do” lists, so a few months into new my biologic, Enbrel, I made a short-term and long-term goals list to be cognizant of how my body was feeling and to gauge activities that I could physically handle. Prior to that, I used to make blanket statements of “I feel no difference,” with these injections and, in turn, would get frustrated and get down on myself. In a way, setting goals was a way for me to get back to a semblance of normalcy, albeit a new normal for me.

Small goals

I started making small goals regarding my physical therapy after my third hip surgery. I was in aquatic therapy for months because on-land physical therapy was too painful prior to starting my biologic. I eventually was able to get back into the gym. Over time, I was able to perform various exercises without increasing my pain. I was so elated after being given the green-light from my physical therapist to use the leg press machine at the gym for the first time in over two years.

Getting a little bigger: attending concerts

Next up on my goals list were concerts I had planned months in advance prior to the summer of 2019, hoping that I could physically handle the out-of-state traveling involved. I bought the concert tickets even before discussing it with my physical therapist and hip doctor. After careful planning with them, the first test was taking the train to New York City to see Alexisonfire, one of my favorite bands, for my thirty-fifth birthday. It was roughly eight years since I last saw the band perform and I wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity regardless of how my body was feeling.

The next big hurdle I needed to cross to feel more like my old self was attending the twenty-fifth-anniversary celebration of the Vans Warped Tour in Atlantic City, NJ in June 2019. It was the last Warped Tour event on the east coast. I remember posting about it on my social media accounts and had family comment, “you might break if you go.” My husband voiced his concern for me and that going to this big music festival could cause me immense pain. I’ll admit I was a bit stubborn about it because I didn’t want to miss out on it like I did the year prior, which was the last full cross-country tour, due to my hip pain.

I was beaming

Attending Warped Tour in Atlantic City was so much more than just seeing a bunch of my favorite bands perform. It was a weekend to hang out with my girlfriends and to not focus on my chronic pain, for once. I was beaming and grinning from ear to ear and hadn’t felt that happy in a long time.

I walked over 30,000 steps in two days, despite being roughly seven months post-op from my third surgery on my right hip, along with left hip pain from femoroacetabular impingement and torn labrum at that time. Walking on the beach is difficult without having chronic hip and back pain, but there were times when I even walked in front of my friends. It was quite the feat to walk that much over that weekend and I felt that all the physical therapy had paid off at that point. Despite my nr-AxSpA, I conquered Warped Tour weekend. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment from attending my first large music festival in a couple of years.

Another big goal: getting back to work

I’ve been working in veterinary medicine for over twenty years and have been a licensed veterinary technician since 2014. For the last five years, I’ve been an emergency veterinary technician and one of my long-term goals was to become a lead technician in that department. I achieved that goal in April 2020 despite my physical limitations and work restrictions in place since my first hip surgery three years prior. Again, I consulted with my hip doctor and physical therapist and eventually was able to physically handle working a full thirteen-hour lead shift. I knew I could not have gotten to this point in my career and life without my biologic injections.

What I found about setting goals for myself, was not only the sense of accomplishment, but I now take pride in what my body has done in the face of adversity. I am also kinder to myself when I haven’t met the goals in the timeframe that I originally wanted. While I recently had hip surgery on my left hip, I’m back to making short-term goals to get me back on track to getting physically stronger so I can hopefully meet my long-term goals. I just have to trust that I will get there.