Spiritual Health, Caregiving, and AS

While not a topic that pops up often, it’s one that’s close to my heart. The journey I’ve taken with Keegan, my husband with AS, shifted my perspective on spirituality and religion. There have been so many moments full of hope and moments completely devoid of hope. I imagine that sounds like a lot of you out there too. What I’ve found is that just like physical and mental health, spiritual health is just as important to address.

What do I mean by spiritual health?

Spirituality defined by Trace Bell is being in awe with life. I really love this definition. So, for me and Keegan, spirituality is about aligning our values and rituals to keep us in tune with the awe of life. Now, this sounds a bit abstract right now and that’s okay. I feel like this abstraction helps give us each the space to determine our own paths and processes to stay in contact with the awe of life.

So where does the health part come into play? My mind for the last 10 years was trained to react to every little thing. Between going through the process of diagnosis, treatment, and multiple surgeries with Keegan plus birthing 2 kids, it’s easy to forget how to find awe in life. So, spiritual health is the mindset and system to continually bring myself back to the awe of life.

Why has this been so important for me?

As someone who’s super Type A and wants everything to be certain and planned, this keeps me grounded. The fact that nothing is guaranteed, and at the end of the day, I want to feel like I’ve been kind to myself and my community. That means reminding myself to prioritize myself first and exploring more of what it means to be open to uncertainty. It’s still a struggle for me many years later, as I feel like it is with most folks. It’s impacted my mental health, especially during the pandemic. And what I’m finding is that becoming aware and conscious of how I take care of spiritual health directly affects my mental and physical health.

Mostly, it’s been hard to accept the effects of AS on my life. It’s easy for me to get engrossed in the day-to-day of taking care of Keegan and the kids. This helps me feel like I’m living for myself, too.

How did I start exploring spiritual health?

• Determine my values: I bought this deck of cards, “Live your values”, and had me and Keegan sort them into “what matters most”, “what matters sometimes”, and “what doesn’t matter”. We then discussed our answers, what we can do to foster these values, and acknowledged that we should revisit these as they may change over time.
• Find a community to practice with: Finding folks open to discussions, practicing meditations, and regular services is crucial for me. Having regular times of the week to listen to the wisdom of religious texts helps me a lot.
• Listen to my intuition: I’m learning more to listen to my intuition and figure out what resonates with me the most. What makes me feel grounded in life? What helps me feel content in the present moment? Who can I surround myself with to support me through this journey?

What have you done to practice and grow in your spiritual health? What advice do you have for someone like me new to this journey?