Ask This to Your Loved One With AxSpa

"How are you feeling today?" "How are you really feeling today?"

The question I wish someone would reach out and ask me more often. So many of us with this illness suffer in silence. So many of us have a masked smile on our faces, most of the time not even ready to start the day each morning. But we get up and we push no matter how we feel and try to get through the day.

Seasonal changes can be the hardest on my body

Winter turning into spring can bring rain and temperature fluctuations. When summer turns to autumn, I love the beautiful change in weather. The beautiful change of leaves that start to change and fall down slowly from the trees. The cooler weather that brings on comfy sweaters and less heat. Since diagnosis, I've come to realize the change in weather doesn't love me so much.

This weather and time of year is when I start to feel more depressed and have more anxiety. What a nice combination to be added in the mix of increased morning stiffness! What a nice combination to be added with increased pain days and longer period of fatigue. Not a nice combination at all. I am aware this time of everything happening to my body. As years pass from my diagnosis, you get to be more aware of how your body is trying to alert you and reacts to different situations, like the time of seasonal change.

I am no expert yet. I don't think I will ever become, as you can try your best and do your best to make the best of how you are feeling. But sometimes, all these combination can be too much for one to take on. This is where I wish someone would ask how I am really feeling. Because it can be so hard to conquer the world like the warrior I want to be.

I'm afraid to say no to things

It's springtime. Events are starting to come up a lot. You can cancel once, but the second time can be hard, as you don't want anyone to stop inviting you. They just started to invite you, once again. One "no" and you can be back into the "no invite" list and known as the person that cancels all the time.

The worries that come with trying to make it, and put others first and yourself last, can be so hard. But sometimes, we really have no choice. We can't control how our bodies react. I have written about this in other articles. The before, the during, and the after. This is what causes more anxiety. Because only the one that goes through this disease will actually understand everything you are feeling deep down inside. The guilt, the hurt, the worries of the future. The tomorrow that might bring a high or higher flare. The sleepless nights that can come your way again. Especially when you are in a maintainable state finally, and all it can take is one slip up and bring you back a couple steps towards unwanted, scary feelings of pain.

Again, this is where I know so many of us wish we had a family member, a friend closest to us, reach out and ask "How are you feeling today? Is it a good day you are having? Is it is a bad day? Are you able to make it?" I find for me this is hard to get. This is where I feel people can forget that you have an illness, that you can't do the things you once did. I believe that if they can see this invisible illness in cuts and scars, this would make it all so different.