You are just a monster ... I am not scared!
On the good days (still in pain but manageable), I feel like I am on top of the world. I am so thankful for those days when they come along. Honestly I am still learning to figure out when those good days come along, because you never know. I am in the process of learning when they come to cherish every minute of them. On those good days sometimes they can end early.
Flares that snap the energy from you
Today is that day where my not so bad days are ending. Noon came where I just started to feel the pain come a long. My mood went down. My thoughts started to race. My body started to feel so weak from the fatigue.
Here we go again. Is it a flare starting up? Did I over do it? If I keep laying down, my husband will come home to a wife still in her pjs not dressed just like the other days. I still hadn't cooked. The kids were coming home from school, and my little one needs help with homework. The list goes on.
It's hard for everyone to cope with AxSpA
All I can think about every time is the pain increasing. The person I can't be anymore. These evil pains I don't wish on anyone to go through. It can drive you crazy. The pain can bring so many emotions and honestly can take over your whole life. It can bring stillness to friends, family, your job, things you loved doing, make you feel alone. Not to mention it can cause pain to the ones you love the most in the world, like your spouse. Pain can make you scared to open up because every time you try to open up to someone you hear the same response that won't change the way you really feel everyday. Pain is a monster. An evil monster that comes and haunts all your body and likes to attack you.
Pain can keep coming along, but I will keep telling myself I am strong. I can do this just like I did it every other time. I will continue to have hope and faith this is for a reason and there is light at the end of this all.
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