How Brain Fog Impacts My Life
We all know brain fog all too well. For many of us, it started out as something small—merely stumbling on our words here and there. You think maybe you’re just tired, you didn’t get enough sleep and that a good night’s rest should do some good. Eventually, though, it wreaks havoc on your brain and causes some of the most frustrating feelings in the world. For me, it has not only changed the way my brain works, but changed how I socialize, too. Here is my experience.
Sometimes I blank out
I like to refer to it as “clocking out.” There are far too many moments for me to count where I’ve felt this way. When this happens, it feels like I blacked out and jumped minutes ahead in real time.
For example, I will go to do something like make my morning coffee. Suddenly, the coffee grounds are already filled, and I’ve turned it on only to realize I forgot the water because I had “clocked out” and wasn’t fully present. I’m doing everything on autopilot except failing at the task or forgetting a step altogether. Whenever I forget about something now, I simply say, “sorry I clocked out,” and those around me know what I mean.
Spacing out and feeling empty is an everyday occurrence
My brain ends up feeling light and empty. It’s like a blank canvas. I feel like every thought or every feeling I’ve ever had just vanished in the blink of an eye. I end up staring off, zoning out and it’s almost like I forget that English is my first language.
If someone is speaking to me, I am no longer able to digest their words. It’s like there is a wall built up in my brain, and any word that someone tries to speak to me bounces right off. In these moments, I am like a sack of flesh and bones and nothing more.
It makes writing a lot more challenging
I have excelled at writing for most of my life. When I realized it was my passion and something I wanted to pursue, I spent hours every day writing about anything and everything. It came so easily to me. I started working on a novel, and I could easily write 1,500 words in under an hour.
Now with my brain fog, what took me an hour now takes me a full day. I also feel like it’s stolen so much creativity from my mind. I feel as though I’ve lost the ability to paint pictures with my words. Not only do I feel this loss, but it also takes me much longer to form even the simplest of sentences.
My ability to learn has decreased
Yes, I am still able to learn new things. But everything has become so much more challenging. It takes me 10 times longer than it used to, and more often than not, the simplest things sound the most complex. Because of this I had to drop out of school and has left me feeling stupid and embarrassed in so many situations. I know none of this is my fault, but I also know it is something I cannot control and it leaves me feeling incredibly frustrated.