Monday Mornings Can Be the Hardest for Me
Monday morning, time to get up for work. My alarm clock keeps ringing and I keep putting it on snooze. There are 5 minutes until I start for work. Thankfully, I am working remotely. I just have to get up from the bed and open my desktop to make sure I am logged in, on time.
I have found a great job that doesn’t see behind the scenes what is really going on. If they would look closely, they would see a girl unprepared to face the day. To be honest, unprepared to face the world. They would see a girl in her PJs all day long. Dark circles under her eyes, begging someone to send her some magic spoons, to give her some energy.
Nights have been hard to fall asleep, making my mornings very hard to get up
This morning, I already feel exhausted and drained. I am in need of spoons already, and I haven’t even started my whole day, yet. My desk is located in my room, that way if I don’t feel that well, I can take my breaks and lay down in bed. It also gives me easy access to the bathroom and to be able to shower throughout the day. I usually take hot showers when needed, through my breaks, that helps with the pain, soreness, and stiffness. Depending on the day, I can sometimes take up to 3 showers. It’s what helps me keep going.
Every morning, waking up, these words are on repeat on my mind: “Why am I feeling this way?” Then I revise what I did the day before or even go back to a couple days ago. Most nights have been sleepless nights. Where I get hit by increased pains or insomnia. Do you believe some nights it can be both? When this happens, it just makes the next day much harder. It makes it more likely that I'll be hit with anxiety, depression, and also extreme fatigue.
Overdoing it on the weekends
When I am having trouble waking up in the morning, like on this Monday morning, I look back on the weekend and realized how much I over did it. I over did it with letting loose and using all my energy. Like cleaning the house, cooking, and getting groceries. No wonder this Monday morning I am having trouble getting up and feeling the worst pain and fatigue possible.
It’s hard sometimes just to sit and rest when I know there are so many things needing to be done around the house. I can’t just sit down. The thought of just just having things waiting on me or leaving behind, creates anxiety. I am a mom and I have 3 kids that need me. Weekends are the only time I get to catch up on everything. I have 2 days to fit in some rest and do all the tasks I haven’t been able to do all week. I wish they could add more days to be included to the weekend. Maybe then it would help and make Monday mornings much easier.
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