My Chronic World Continues

They said to think more positive. They said tomorrow will be a better day. They said try another treatment plan it might help, but we have to wait and see another 3 months if it will work. They said you need to exercise, to move your body more and you should see the benefits within 3-6 months. They said try to change your diet, following a gluten-free diet and you should see the benefits within 6-8 weeks. Once again they said to keep your head up and continue to think positive. They said make sure to take your vitamins. They said make sure to take your medications, every day. There are better days coming.

You can follow everything

You can follow all the recommendations given by your specialists and doctors, but yet again the pain is there. The pain that comes and goes. The pain that just takes over your whole body and makes you yet again confused. Yet again to see pain management clinic, my case is not urgent enough to be seen. I have to wait 6 months to get seen by the clinic, not counting all these months and months being in pain.

I woke up this morning, in lots of pain again

Every night is a sleepless night. Every night, I wake up many times, tossing and turning. It’s either my back, my neck, my arms, my wrists, my legs, my eyes, my jaw, my gums and face. I know how can that be? I ask myself the same every time. How can someone be in pain in so many places. Sometimes if I will get lucky and it’s only one part of my body. But most days like today, I am unlucky. It’s everything. I woke up upset, depressed and so angry.

But they said try to think positive

Why are you so negative? That’s all you talk about is your health and pain pain and oh ya pain, they said.

How can I not when that’s all I feel. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day is pain pain and oh ya pain. To add to everything, let’s not forget the debilitating symptoms like the extreme fatigue that follows you along the way. No matter how much rest you get, it’s not enough.

It’s affected everything in my life. As much as I keep telling myself, tomorrow must be a better day, the more I prove myself wrong that tomorrow is not a better day. It’s just words to keep me going. Not a cure.

There are days, where I have it all under control and days I just feel like I am going to lose it, having to feel this way continuously all day long in pain and with extreme fatigue. But all I can do right now it keep thinking positive that I will hopefully one day get remission. All I can do is remind myself how strong I am. How I have surpassed so much and I will surpass another day. I want to let you all know you are not alone and we are what is called a true WARRIOR.