My Lowest Point With AxSpa Was a Gift

Shortly after diagnosis when I was about 18, I remember going to the theater where my sister was working at the time. Me, my mum, and sister saw a show. I recall during the show being unable to sit for even a few moments before having to move again and I would repeat this for the whole show, in constant pain.

I came out of the show with pain radiating throughout my body, in my hips, spine, chest and ribs. An intense piercing and stabbing sensation. I remember being on the verge of tears because the pain was so intense and getting into an argument with my sister because I wanted to leave because of the pain and she was taking forever.

It was on the way home where I broke down

I had been in this pain for so long and this was the worst it had gotten. I was taken to a dark place and I felt I had lost all control of not only my body but my life. I felt very depressed and didn’t think things would ever improve. I was definitely in the mode of “why me,” “what have I done to deserve this?”

Then after getting home I showered and during that time a still small voice whispered: “You need to stop being a victim, only you can do the work, only you can improve this situation, you have a choice.” It was in this moment I knew that things were going to improve. This internal process allowed me to realize that we all have a choice in life, a choice to take the next step. One foot forward.

I always remember this day as a pivotal moment, the beginning of me recovering a better quality of life. Nothing had changed externally but inside there had been a shift. I would love to hear if any of you had a moment similar to the one described here?

It was shortly after this event I began to practice Yoga for AS.

Discovering yoga was the catalyst of knowing that there are tools and ways of living that can make a huge difference to quality of life with AxSpa.

Learning and practicing

Improving my situation was not linear or straight forward, and it took time for me to move forward. But I began to learn practices and wisdom from fields such as nutrition, immunology, mind-body techniques, yoga, sleep hygiene and much more.

I would like to share a section from a quote by Dr. Edith Eger a Holocaust Survivor and author of the book The Choice.The full video can be found here.

You have the power of choice

"The choice to acknowledge what you are doing now whether it is working for you or not. The choice to know that you have other options. To be able to stretch your comfort zone and to be able to look at the same thing but from a different perspective. Change gives you the fear of the unknown, but if you don't change, you don't grow". - Dr. Edith Eger

I would definitely recommend reading her book, The Choice