The Difficulties of Remote Work with AxSpa

It’s my third week on my new job, as I am still in training. As I am writing this article, I have tears in my eyes from the tiredness. I am not trying to discourage anyone, but in my situation right now I do feel discouraged. I feel like I am not ready to work, but I don’t have a choice financially. (At this point, I wish the government would make it much easier for so many of us suffering with chronic illness, to be able to get long term disability benefits.)

I thought it would be easier, but I was wrong

I honestly thought it would be easy, since it’s a position working remotely. I have been having a hard time waking up. The mornings are the hardest for me. I am up most of the night, tossing and turning from the pain. I don’t remember the last time, I had a good night’s sleep. It feels like ages. My husband and I even changed our mattress thinking that was the problem. Nope, my sleeps still feels the same.

Waking up is so hard

Waking up, like I said, is the hardest part of the day. I have been managing and pushing through by making sure I take my pain medication Tramacet every morning. Then I follow with a hot shower, to help ease my pain and help release tension of my muscles. It is not easy to even do just these 2 steps. I then try to move around the house to maybe help with the stiffness on my body everywhere.

Sometimes, I don’t even have time, as my body can’t even get up from the bed from low energy to do everything I just mentioned. I am thinking maybe I need to pass through training and hopefully ask if it is possible to start at a later time. It’s funny how our bodies change. Before I was such an early bird, and now I can’t even function past 12pm.

I have trouble concentrating

My shift is from 9am to 5pm. So between those hours, I get an hour lunch. There is a lot of sitting all day and less movement causing even more pain, stiffness and fatigue to my body. By the time lunch comes, I am done for the day and need to spend most of the time resting in bed.

I forgot to mention the most important struggle has been concentration. What is that meaning? I have been struggling trying to focus on every word my trainer is saying. It doesn’t mean I don’t know the job, because I do. I just feel that someone in my position needs more breaks to be able to perform better at their job.

I honestly feel like I am always trying to catch up with everything

Not only with work, but with everything else that comes with being a mom and a wife. It just gets overwhelming a lot of the times. There are so many responsibilities on my shoulders, from making sure the 3 kids are ready for school, lunches are ready every day, the house is up to date and cleaned, the laundry and dishes are cleaned and put away.

Did I mention the groceries that need to be done every week, and the snacks that need to be stocked up, now that the kids are back to school? I just got tired thinking about it. Imagine fighting pain 24/7, anxiety, depression, and starting a new job, after being off on sick leave for so long.

Even though it sounds and looks scary, I need to continue having some sort of hope. I continue to take one day at a time. I keep hoping that tomorrow will come and it will be a better day. I keep hoping that my new biologic will bring me less pain and like I have said before, maybe remission. I know I am trying my best with all the circumstances. I know I am trying the best I can right now and I need to keep reminding myself not to lose that hope.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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