Leveling Up Your Self-Care

I've found over the last year that there are places to level up self-care in our house. My husband, Keegan, suffers from AS and chronic pain daily. We have 2 young kids and I recently converted to work from home. Between the pandemic, the stress of a newborn, and just trying to manage to make dinner, we've found small but meaningful ways to make our self-care better. Now, this may sound like "how to make your own spa at home," which is a great thing to do. But really, I mean self-care differently here. It's a way to move things off your plate to allow for time to take care of yourself. (After all, a robot can't sit down and relax for you.)

I'll preface this article with one note: I'm not advocating for spending crazy amounts of money to make your life easier. If you have a disposable income, that's great. If not, that's okay, too. Instead of asking myself, "What can I buy to make my life a little easier?" I ask, "If I could hire someone to take something off my plate, what would that be?" And then once that task bubbles up to my consciousness, I find a way to either delay it or get help with completing it. The most crucial part of this exercise is to find what your pain points are when it comes to chores and tasks. What do you hate completing? Why do you hate completing it? Is it physically difficult? Does it bring up difficult feelings? Do you wish your partner or spouse would take care of that for you?

How can I make household chores easier?

Quick answers: Get a Roomba. Or a cleaning service. Or a family member to help.

Long answer: I love getting chores done. I find it deeply satisfying to see a clean kitchen at the end of the day. Messiness makes me feel stressed out. The best advice I ever read was to make cleaning easier by getting rid of clutter and mess. Get bookshelves with bins so you can just chuck whatever is on the floor in the bins. Wow! It's so clean now. (Just don't look in the bins!)

How do I help myself achieve goals?

Quick answers: Buy an Apple Watch and put reminders on a list. Have it remind you every day until you do it.

Long answer: Despite having more than enough on his plate, Keegan still sets out goals for himself. He's reasonable about how many there are, but he's still human! Even with a disability, he craves finding fulfillment in his own productivity. Finding someone else to keep him accountable (that's me) for his goals is extremely helpful. Find a goals buddy!

How do I help my body?

Quick answers: Get massages. Go get a manicure. Treat yo self.

Long answer: This is the typical focus for self-care articles. This truly depends on the person, but the outcome is the same. Find what feels good. (Thanks to "Yoga with Adriene" for that helpful phrase!) If you like the idea of yoga, but find it too difficult, find someone who can modify it so it feels good. Your body goes through enough, so find what helps your body feel good. And that's both short-term and long-term. We recently bought an indoor cycling bike because endorphins are great for pain and Keegan needs low-impact cardio. (And we could finance it with 0% APR for 18 months! Woohoo!)

These moments of self-care are critical to enjoying life with pain, fatigue, and lack of mobility. Finding fulfillment each day requires a growth mindset. And that can be tough some days, but others, it's possible to make things a bit easier for yourself! In what ways have you leveled up your self-care? We'd love to hear more!