Sleepless Nights Continue Continuously

Sleepless nights are something I been writing a lot about. It's part of the biggest struggle I've been having. I know I am not alone on this one. As going through forums and different groups of others suffering with AxSpa have been having the same struggle. When you struggle with having no good sleep, you search for anything to find to help. Searching to see I am not the only one makes me feel more at ease and less alone.

Well, it's been too many nights

Too many nights of not being able to get a good sleep. It's been getting too hard, waking up a million times at night and crying out loud. I just wasn't able to take it anymore, as it started to affect every much my work during the day. The sleepless painful nights have started to affect my moods around everyone I love. Who wouldn't feel angry and moody? It used to bother me hearing the word moody, but now I have come to accept that this is normal, after going through what we go through with this disease.

Since it's been weeks without a good night's sleep, I thought I would try and call the rheumatology clinic and hit the nurses extension. The voicemail came on and I left a message. A week passed-no call back. I was pretty upset. A lot of the times, during those painful night, it gets so bad I think I need to go to the ER from the intense pain. It feels like someone is squishing my chest and I can't breathe from the pain. I was so mad about not yet getting a call back from the clinic. Even though I was anxious, I called again and got an answer. The nurse was not helpful and didn't know how to help me. She let me know that my rheumatologist was away. I let some days pass. It was getting more unbearable this time. I was so tired.

I have this fear now trying to reach my rheumatologist by email, since the secretary told me not to send them anymore, and if I need anything to reach out to her. I tried all this and got no where. I would go to emergency, but I knew from a year ago, the doctor advised to reach out to my rheumatologist, unless it was life or death. I took the chance and reached out by email to my rheumatologist. He was nice about everything. He advised me since he was away to go to a clinic or ER. He also advised how I need to go back on anti-inflammatories. I am right now only on biologics and take pain medication as needed. But the combo hasn't been doing much.

I have such a hard time getting myself to appointments

But my husband made me an appointment the next morning and accompanied me. I don't know how many times, I went over my head how to describe what I was feeling, as the fear was I would just get looked at weird and be dismissed of what was real. Sitting in that chair in the clinic was so stressful. It brought back memories of early diagnosis stages where I had to see so many doctors until someone listened.

Finally it was my turn and I was so happy leaving that clinic. He listened well and knew all about AxSpa. The doctor knew exactly where the pain was and what I was feeling. He prescribed me a new anti-inflammatory and a muscle relaxer. He also advised after 2 weeks if not feeling well to come back. I was so happy I listened to my husband and took that appointment, as I was thinking over and over again to cancel, because like I said I was afraid of the outcome from previous experiences of being seen from different doctors.