My First Birthday With AxSpa

My first birthday being sick was a strange one. I was so unwell. My friends and family made such an effort to make sure I had a special day, a special week. I appreciate my friends and family a lot for that, but my body was not able for this.

A horrible, intense feeling

My week started with a shopping spree with my mom and aunt. We went to a shopping center and had a lovely time shopping. Until I had no energy left and a horrible intense feeling that I was going to faint came over me. What a horrible feeling, it happens a lot. My heart rate drops, and I feel extremely weak. Then, my heart beats fast and I sweat a lot. Often, I see black dots and if I don’t lie or sit down, I know I will faint.

I could feel this feeling come over me and instantly I needed to sit down. We sat in a restaurant and my mam got me a fizzy drink and something to eat. I temporarily felt a little better, but I couldn’t finish my shopping spree. I went home and rested for the evening.

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The next day my friends had organized a night in my favorite restaurant to celebrate my birthday. We met at my friend's house who lives close by. Just going to my friend's house and chatting with my pals was too much for me. I needed to lie down.

Next, it was time to go to the restaurant. We got a taxi there even though it was a short walk, I couldn’t do it.  I tried to hide how I was feeling, I didn’t want to ruin my birthday. I wanted to feel better. But my friends knew how I felt.

"You don’t look too well, are you sure you're ok?"

Our starters came and my friend looked at me and said, "you don’t look too well, are you sure you're ok?" at this point my vision was gone. I was about to faint. I shook my head no while trying to hold back the tears. She carried me out of the restaurant and sat outside with me while I got some fresh air and cried.

Once the faint feeling passed, I went back into the restaurant. I couldn’t eat or enjoy my meal. As soon as the main course was finished, I texted my brother to come and collect me. I couldn’t even stay long enough to have some birthday cake.

I went home and cried to my family. I felt so disappointed in myself that I could not enjoy my birthday with my friends.  The next day I spent the entire day in bed feeling miserable...and feeling sorry for myself.

Little did I know that the following day my family had planned a surprise party in my house. I pushed myself and I enjoyed the party, but I felt horrible. It was lovely to have so many people celebrate with me. A party just for me. I paid for enjoying myself for nearly a week. I was in so much pain. My hip was stuck, and I was constantly weak.

Oh, how I hope my next birthday won't be like this.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The AxialSpondyloarthritis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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