Flare Up Feelings
For the past six to eight weeks, I had been going through a terrible flare up. I had no energy at all. When this happens, I constantly feel sick. My inflammation levels were sky high, they are now slowly starting to decrease. My pain was excruciating, and I was as stiff as the tin man. My spasms were angry, very angry. But finally, this flare has passed.
I would love to know what caused it, but I don’t. I keep a journal where I track everything I do in a day, my symptoms, my sleep, what I eat, just about everything. But I have not come to an answer for this flare. Maybe the change in weather? Who knows?
Going through a flare is emotionally and physically draining
I am annoyed at myself, at my body. I don’t know about you, but flare ups take a toll on my mental health. With intense pain and intense fatigue comes many different emotions. I may feel upset, frustrated, angry, lonely, fed up...the list goes on.
I think it's important to allow myself feel these emotions. Bottling them up leads to an unexpected explosion of all my emotions. So, I allow myself to feel every emotion. For me, when I allow myself to feel my emotions, it allows me to control them. I think; Ok, I’m upset with the fact I’m in a flare up, what can I do to help me? Thinking about it now, it doesn’t allow me to control them. It allows me to control my reaction to these emotions.
This is a tough thing to do, and it has taken me some time to learn how I should react to my emotions. There's no right or wrong way, just the best way for me.
During a flare up, I do things to make me happy. If I need to cancel and let other people down, then I must. I’ve learned not to feel guilty about this. I’m not being selfish, I am just doing what's best for me.
During a flare up, the most important thing for me to do is rest
I spend a lot of time in bed during a flare up. Watching Netflix, playing on my switch, writing and listening to records. Recently I've treated myself to a record player and a really good sound system. I love music so this was a great investment!
One of my downfalls of a flare up for me, well more for my bank account, is online shopping. I like to treat myself when I am feeling sad from my pain. Retail therapy is real. I enjoy waiting for a package to come while I’m waiting for my flare to pass.
I journal the most during my flares. I’ve always believed that if I’ve an upset thought, writing it down will help it pass. If only I could write down my flares and they would pass.
I take plenty of baths and I will always ask for help. I’ve stopped feeling embarrassed asking for help. I no longer feel like a burden. Because, I am not a burden. If you feel like a burden, please know that you are not. If you feel embarrassed or awkward about asking for help, please know that this is normal. But remember that asking for help is the strongest thing you can do. Asking for help makes you vulnerable, it’s important to be vulnerable at times.
Now that this flare is over, it’s time to get back on track. Time to start helping my body as much as I can! How do flare ups make you feel?
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