FOMO

I understand all that, but cancelling plans and doing it later makes my husband who has ADHD and depression and anxiety thinking we have no time left, he can’t help it I know as I think about that but I don’t say it.
He feels time is running out and tells me, I change the subject but it gets me down and then both of us are down, I know things have to be changed sometimes at the lady minute but he can’t cope with it, we have a great relationship but thinking we can’t do this and that really impacts us both, we do talk a lot but sometimes as I don’t want to upset him then I don’t say.

FOMO effects me and my husband bad, I have no job, my husband left his job to be my carer, we can’t see my grandchildren very much,take them out, play etc just because we are in our sixties we still want a life, yes I had fun in my teens and twenties but I only married my husband in 2007 and had a few months going to places in the uk but then I got fibromyalgia and ME and everything changed, now it’s staying in more then anything and my husband feels like he is missing out on life and I do the same, some days we can go out but it’s a struggle and effects us both mentally, I don’t think people realise how bad it effects people my age, just as young people as it’s talked about how young people can’t do so many things but what about us, at least young people have a longer life span to improve and get as better as they can.
Have lost all our friends, my husbands grown up kids, sisters and brothers do not understand and live hundreds of miles from us and not supportive to me.
No support groups and yes have asked rheumatology but nothing in this area.
You can’t even see a Gp either I have tried. I do try think positive but most days it’s impossible.
I only got diagnosed last year after having the covid vaccines.

I also have Multiple Sclerosis. That is really limiting in what I can do, also. The way I got around it, it my husband and I made all kinds of plans to do things, knowing that we wouldn't be able to go to many of them.
When I was dx with AS, we went with the same plan. We can plan lots of things, but know that many of them we can not make it to.
Planning ahead requires letting the people you know well that (close friends) you may not be able to make it to the event. It requires talking seriously to your relationship partner. I think loving ourselves is so very important, but one of the most difficult aspects for us to achieve. It also waxes and wanes as our AS does. Positive self talk is critical to our health, our outlook on life, and our inner peace. That one took me the longest to achieve, and it slips more quickly than other issues. But that one aspect, positive self talk, has changed my view of AS. It has even brought acceptance much of the time.

Well, knowing I am usually the life of the party, it seems fair to say, I AM NOT missing out on anything, lol.


Seriously, lol, I don't accept changes very well when it comes to plans that have to be scheduled then cancelled all because of me. I know that isn't true totally but it feels that way.


For instance, hubby took me to a Christmas celebration that really I should have cancelled. I had a horrible time because of the pain, but stayed as long as possible so as to not disappoint hubby.
It also angered me because Christmas is my all time fav of the yr, but since I seem to have only gotten worse and have had to cancel many fun things to do w/ hubby and my daughter & her children, it just angers me to the point that i don't want to even celebrate it anymore.
I mean, I can't enjoy festivites of any sort if I'm in pain. So I then feel resentful and of course have myself a big pity party!!! Thus, I AM the party, for better or worse.