Giving Myself Grace: How I Prepare for (Yet Another) Flare-Up

There it is again – that familiar, unwelcome visitor who shows up unannounced and ruins an otherwise good day. If you live with AxSpA or another form of chronic pain, you likely know the feeling.

It starts with a flicker of pain that you hope you just imagined, but grows into a full-on blaze.

It’s a flare-up.

I’ve had AxSpA for nearly 10 years now. I wish I could say that flare-ups get easier, but they don’t.

Luckily, over time, I’ve found ways to prepare for them that work for me.

3 ways I manage my AxSpA flare-ups

Ideally, I would prevent flare-ups from happening altogether. Unfortunately, that’s not possible, but here are some things I've done to reduce their frequency and severity.

1. A conversation with my doctor changed how often I inject my biologic

I primarily manage with Humira, a biologic medication that lowers my disease activity. I still have flare-ups on Humira, but they are much lighter than they were before. When I first started Humira, I took a dose every 14 days, but I noticed that my pain got worse near the end of the 14-day window.

I mentioned this to my rheumatologist, and she suggested that I try injecting Humira every 10 days instead. Since shortening the window in between doses, my overall pain and number of flare-ups have decreased. This is just my experience.

2. As a preventative measure, I exercise regularly

I also try to prevent flare-ups by exercising regularly. For me, regular walking, strength training, and stretching are crucial to disease management.

That said, if a flare-up has already started, I’m in way too much pain to even consider going to the gym. Exercise is my preventative measure rather than a mid-flare coping tool.

3. I always have my flare-up essentials toolkit ready

In addition to prevention efforts, I try to have some essentials ready to go in case of a flare-up:

• Heating pads
• Pain medication
• Comforting books and movies
• Easy, healthy foods that don’t require any preparation

I like to keep a few cans of soup or chili, instant rice, frozen vegetables, protein pasta, and pasta sauce on hand at all times, so I can still eat when I’m in too much pain to cook.

Meal prepping is also a great idea – when you’re having a “good” day, cook extra to put in the freezer, and you will thank yourself later when you’re in a flare.

Above all, my #1 strategy is giving myself grace

When it comes to pain management, everyone has different preferences. Personally, I was prescribed prednisone, a corticosteroid, to take during a flare-up if I need it. I rarely have to resort to taking it, but it’s comforting to know it’s there.

As helpful as heating pads and pain meds may be, I think that the single best thing you can do for yourself in a flare-up is give yourself grace.

Flare-ups are unpredictable, so we need to be flexible when they do arise.

Explaining flare-ups to my friends and family

Maybe you want to...

• Give your friends and family a heads up that you may occasionally cancel plans last-minute
• Accept that you’ll have to skip the gym now and then
• Remind yourself that those projects around the house can wait

Being gentle with yourself, as frustrating as it is, will ease some stress during a flare-up and allow you to focus entirely on taking care of yourself.

While I'm in it, I find it comforting to remind myself that the flare-up will end. If I’m having a “good” day or week, I make a mental note of it for my future, flaring self.

Say it with me, as I say it to myself: “You’ve had good days before, and you will have good days again."