A Letter For Every Time I Feel Like Giving Up

Dear me, AxSpa warrior:

I know you were so excited, that you were having some good days and on a roll. I know you started making plans for the following few days. I know you started having all sorts of motivation, that you can do everything and anything around you. But then slowly, slowly you started feeling tired. You started feeling weak with no energy. You started feeling depressed. You started to feel angry towards yourself and everyone around you. You started to feel increased pains come along slowly.

You know you have been here before

You have been here before, a million times already. You should know already how it works. You know how hard you have to keep pushing through, every time this happens. I know you are tired mentally and physically, but remember what helped you the last time you where here.

It’s temporary and you can do this. You just have to breath. Take a step back and instead of taking one day at a time, today you have to take one minute at a time. You have gotten through this so many times. Every time, you get through it, it makes you stronger, because being in pain and everything that comes with this disease, is what we call a true warrior.

I want you to take care of yourself right now. I want you to listen to your body and slow down. I want you not to push yourself and actually rest, rest and rest. I want you to take a warm bath, as many as needed, with some Epsom salt and play your favorite playlist.

Don't feel guilty

Don’t forget to take your pain medication. It’s ok today to do so, as you need it the most to pass through these hard times. Today I want you to take it easy which means no cleaning or cooking. It’s ok to do what you have to do. It’s for yourself, because you need it right now the most. Don't feel guilty. Order something you love and let them deliver it to your door.

Today is all about focusing on your body and what it needs. Yes, even if you have to stay in bed the whole day, in your PJs and watch Netflix. If you can, don’t forget to journal your feelings and thoughts away. Don’t forget to write down all your symptoms and keep track of them.

Are you feeling alone?

Are you feeling down? Why don’t you message one of your AS friends or go into your Facebook groups where you can share with other members, how your day is going. Another great idea, that you know helps cheer you up: order your favorite dessert. If you can, try to maybe ask your husband for a drive out around close by.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your husband and kids don't mind. If you can, you can just sit outside in the front, for some fresh air or even a small short walk. It can help bring your mood up. I know how hard it can be, to be home all day. Try to do something that you love today.

I know it might be overwhelming, that you have to go through this again and again. But know you got this. Remember you are not alone. There is many of you suffering right now. You have done this before and you will do this again. Just remember to treat yourself with lots of love, because you need it the most today. You are worthy and your disease doesn’t define you. You just need to rest and slowly slowly you will find some relief. You are what is called an AxSp warrior.